Breaking the Cycle: 11 Days Without Yelling
How Our Family is Learning to Control Emotions, Communicate Calmly and Grow Together
If you had told me a few weeks ago that our family would go 11 days without yelling, I might have laughed and said, Yeah, right. But here we are on day 11 of intentionally choosing calm over chaos, understanding over outbursts, and love over loudness. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Have there been slip-ups? Of course. But we’re doing it. We are changing, together.
The Decision to Change
Like so many parents, I’ve had moments where frustration got the best of me. With three boys-one a teenager and two toddlers-life is loud, unpredictable, and exhausting. Yelling often felt like the only way to be heard. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the home environment I wanted to create. I didn’t want my children to remember a house filled with raised voices. I wanted them to feel safe, heard, and respected.
So, we made a decision. No more yelling. We committed as a family to finding better ways to express our emotions, even in the hardest moments.
The Challenges We’ve Faced
Breaking the cycle of yelling hasn’t been easy. There have been moments when the stress of the day, the tantrums, and the sibling fights made it so tempting to raise our voices. And yes, there have been slip-ups. But instead of seeing those moments as failures, we’ve used them as learning opportunities.
One of the biggest victories in this journey has been watching my son’s father catch himself in the moment. There have been times when I’ve seen frustration rising in him his voice starts to go up, his tone gets sharp and then, something shifts. He recognizes it, takes a breath, and calms himself before continuing. That kind of self-awareness isn’t easy, but it’s powerful. And it’s setting an incredible example for our boys.
What’s Working for Us
Pausing Before Reacting-Taking just a few seconds to breathe before responding makes a huge difference.
Using Softer Voices- It might seem counterintuitive, but when I lower my voice, my kids listen more.
Validating Feelings-Instead of immediately shutting down emotions, we acknowledge them: I see that you’re frustrated. Let’s talk about it.
Taking Breaks- Sometimes, walking away for a moment is the best way to avoid yelling.
Encouraging Each Other-We’re all in this together, and when one of us starts to slip, someone else steps in with a gentle reminder.
The Impact So Far
Even in just 11 days, I can see a shift. The house feels a little calmer. The boys are learning to use their words instead of their volume. Their father and I are showing them through our own actions that emotions don’t have to control us. And I feel prouder of myself as a mom. I know this journey isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing my children that we can always grow, always choose a different path, and always strive to be better.
We’re only at the beginning of this change, but I already know it’s one of the most important commitments we’ve made as a family. Here’s to continuing this journey one day, one deep breath, and one calm conversation at a time.
If you’ve ever struggled with yelling in your home, know that change is possible. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. And if we can do it, so can you.